Hello Council watchers, Doomers and Superhero's, here is my weekly council update:

The Rev Simmons started of the night stating it was a majestical evening. Rev, every Tuesday council meetings are majestical.

Andy was up next and he still isnt happy about the KOZ's. Here we go again folks.......

Les was up next. I have to say, my sources were incorrect that he was going to request a ban on all Jack Russell's in the city. My bad....He wanted to know the status of a loan by the "aroma" cafe. The loan is current and there are no problems....the only aroma problem I could see was standing at the podium. He also wants lines painted on the streets. He still wants an inquiry done on stolen Gary signs. He didn't say anything about all of the Mayor Doherty signs that got spray painted.

Lee was up next. First I have to say to Lee, he better speak to Joe taliban( the other "newspaper" owner in the city.) Joe has been bad mouthing Lee lately. Anyway, Lee is against KOZ's.

Ronnie E was back again. He was wearing a Hush Puupy shirt. He was spouting out #'s. I was so confused. He was obviously reading someone eleses math because He didn't even understand what he was reading...Are you followin me!!!

Brett was next. While he was speaking, Fayk Franus appeared in the background with a serious , deceitful stare in her eyes.

Dave Dobbers was there. I couldn't keep count how many times he went to grab his pen in his shirt pocket.

Announcemnts were being made by Nancy K. She wanted to talk about "stimulation". I had to sit and up in my seat for this one. I think she woke the entire crowd up. She was also mad about locked doors.

Ms. Shumacher was looking bright as a bannana. She was worried about run off and what was being performed in the KOZ zone in Trips park.

Joe Taliban was up next. He was concerned about Jake Brakes....Jerk Brakes, Jail Breaks, brakes , brakes, brakes.... whatever Taliban, go print your lousy newspaper.

Phyliss the Blessed Mary was there again. While she was speaking, there was a POW Wow going on in the background with the Skunk Lady, Nasaly Nelson and part of the unbiased Scranton Tax asso team.

Tom U was there. He had his trunks pulled up higher than Jerry Foleys 1982 ESPN TV debut. He was ready to take on all KOZ newcomers.

Speaking of High Pitched voices, Nelson was there but didnt speak.

Mr Jacko was up next. I think he forgot to take his Bib fastener off his shirt after dinner. Maybe it was dog collar zapper. Someone may have been controlling what he was saying. He does have the demeanor of a pitbull. Jacko, watch out for Les, he may ban you from council meetings. Thats the Fact , Jack

Stucky was in the house. He wanted a pothole filled in an alley way. He accused Sherry of Dancing at a bar. Stucky, get your dollar bills out, you may get "lucky".

Chrissy was up next. He was wearing a Firefighter shirt. The shirt was blue and white. The best colors in the city.

See you next week people... By the way, there is a bitter, unhappy imposter using my name and format. I am now using Anti-Doomer Brian

Hi People, This is my weekly Council/Doomer update. Prior to the meeting starting, there was very important discussion taking place between Stucky and Mr McGoff. Something tells me that pothole in the alley still hasnt been filled yet. Mr Courtright and Ms Nealon were not there this week. Hmmm, should I say "scandal"!!!Also my sources told me that a Group of guys from the Tarus club dropped a man off in council chambers who was a Weekend at Berni's look alike. He sat right in the view of the camera and didnt move the entire nite. I was going to call 911. He was stiff as a board. First up was the very colorful Fayk Franus. She talked about Austin Burkes letter to the Scranton Times. She must have ESP because she already knows how Mr McGoff is going to vote on the KOZ agenda. I say there should be KOZ's for dress codes at these meetings. Lets make all of the Doomers wear the same outfits like the way the kids do in Grade Schools. If we make it a KOZ, they can get their outfits for free. She talked about Ken McDowell and motions. Is anyone going to make a motion? Motion , Motion , Motion, Who's making a motion? Ms Shumacher was next. Shes against the transfer of the wildlife center. Ms Schumacher, it's a done deal, Give it up already!!!. Big Bobby B was back in the house after his embarrassing defeat in May. He was mad at Mr Denaples( surprise, surprise). Bob, it sounds like your jealous that you didn't make the smart investments that Mr Denaples has made. He was also against 5th order 4F- thru 5y.Andy started of by saying ICA.....??? What? He's mad about KOZ's in Keyser Valley. Andy, did you ever live in Keyser Valley? You should have seen it 20 years ago. Now, its new and improved because of the KOZ's. Andy, you are only thinking short term. Think about the next generation, please. Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, out of nowhere, it was a bird, a plane...??? No.... it was OZZIE. Yes, the unbiased President of the Scranton Tax asso. Has anyone heard of the song by Bob Seger, Ramblin Man. Need I say more. My sources are telling me that some of his friends are looking to bounce him from the President's seat. I say the association start a Koo like the one going on over in IRAN. Joe Taliban was next with a fresh pack of Generic cigarettes in his shirt pocket. He was mad at Austin Burke. Joe, why don't you walk down the street of few blocks away and knock on Austin's door and talk to him. You have nothing else to do with your day anyway. Your newspaper only takes about an Hour to produce. You definetly have alot of time on your hands. Lee "press on" Morgan was next. Lee was mad at Mr Burke too. Lee, do you think Mr Burke watches this show every week. Yes thats right Doomers, majority of the people in Scranton don't watch "your" show every Tuesday. Ratings are down. The election is over. Les was there again. He was shocked that Ms Fannucci wasnt there. Les, why dont you go to her house and spy on her like Ray used to. To tell you the truth, he was looking a little more buff this week. I think he shrank his Legion Of Doom tee shirt to make him self look bigger and more intimidating. He said he wont be around for the next meetings because of the new time 10:00 am. I have a feeling his blood pressure will go back to being normal for the next couple of weeks. Some, "nice" guy was there from lower Green Ridge promoting a church fundraiser. There was going to be a "diaper derby", Parents,keep your kids away. Can anyone say" "Amber Alert".Two people came up next and very honestly gave the reasons why they really needed KOZ. These people have the American Dream. They just need a little help. They spoke about living in Scranton the rest of their lives and raising their Families here. I was very glad to see these people here and I hope they are granted the KOZ status. This is what its all about folks. Brett was next. Location Location Location was his theme. Brett would rather see the old Scranton than the New ScrantonGeneral Jacko was next. No parking tickets this week I guess, he didnt mention it. He's mad At Austin Burke for not showing up at Council. Wait a second Jacko, Your bashing this guy on TV. Why don't you drive down to Mulberry Street and tell him to his face andbe a man. You have to embarrass this guy on TV. You're a hipocrit. Dave Dobbers was up next. I lost attention because Chrissy S was in background with a Maroni's pizza shirt on. I couldnt stop think of that pizza. Guess whats for dinner tonite folks. Phyllis the blessed Mary came in next. She was trying to protect herself from the swine flu germs I heard were floating around in the chambers. The Weekend at Bernie's look a like miraculously moved in the background as she began to speak. Wow, its was Ronnie E from the Tarus club. Thank god I didnt over-react and call 911. Anyway, phyliss claimed she abducted by aliens at one time in her life. Stayed tune for next week. Last but Least was Nelson. He didnt bad mouth the...

Hi People here is my weekly Doomer/ Council update.

First there was an issue with the American Flag position. It was moved back to regular position not to cause any problems. Whew, thank God.

Austin Burke was there to speak about the importance of the Mt Pleasant Professional Plaza asking for KOZ status. I agreed with him. The Doomers don’t agree with him (surprise, surprise). He explained with the economy the way it is (brutal), bringing construction jobs and medical and IT jobs is imperative. Has anyone driven near that site? It looks impressive. Much better than the eyesore located there before the project started.

Sam P was up next. He only addressed Mrs. Evans and Mr. Cawright. He doesn’t like KOZ’s. He wasn’t wearing a funky hat or Doo rag on this week.

Nancy K was there. She’s against KOZ because of the tax increase of 2005 and because of the fees charged by NCC. Nancy, there are 30 different states who offer the KOZ’s. We have to compete with them. Also, there have been people (a lot of them) who haven’t paid their property taxes for years and years yet she seems to think that we should be gentle with them when trying to get the money.

Tom U was next boxer in the ring. He’s been paying taxes for over 50 years. Maybe we can have a Tax payer’s Golden anniversy party for him. Tom, my grandmother has been paying taxes for 65 years and she is all for the KOZ’s (for the most part).

Dobbers was up next. I was bored. But I did see him wondering around town. Maybe he should apply for a job at the Parking authority. He could hand out parking tickets and help create even more revenue for the city.

Brett, “the Taxpayer” Mcloe was up next. He explained how intelligent his children are. He didn’t even shed a tear when telling his story. He was against KOZ’s. Sherry then asked him if he works for an establishment that has KOZ status. He said he does but that business needs employees. Hmmmmm, He sounds like a Hypocrite.

Billy “Bad Boy” Bradigan was next. He still wants to start the Legion of Hope. Not a bad idea William.

Joe “the silent majority guy” was next. Joe you are a silent Doomer, let’s get that straight!!!. The Doomers haven’t been silent for the Last eight plus years. This just happens to be the first time you spoke. Maybe he has Direct TV and doesn’t watch council meetings every Tuesday.

Fayk Franus was there. She started on Judy again. Fay only has 10.00 bucks left in her pocket til her next retirement check arrives. Sounds to me that she didn’t plan very well her retirement years back when she should have. Now, she blames council.

Mr. Rinaldi was next and explained that over a 7 year KOZ plan, the 500 block project would only save 28,000 dollars but generate hundreds of thousands of dollars back into Scranton’s economy. Folks, this man has re-faced this block and has done a great job. He deserves the KOZ status.

Jeannie from lower Green Ridge was there. She mentioned Coney Island re-opening. I will tell ya, they are the Best Heart-Stoppers in the city (Since Moby dick was a minnow).

Marie S, member of the unbiased Scranton Tax payer’s asso, was next. Anti KOZ. Need I say more?

For the record, Janet Evans was against all KOZ’s and progress for the city. Remember that folks. She was also Tardy for the meeting.

It was a pretty uneventful meeting this week. Missing from the circus was , OZZIE, Jacko, Ray L, Andy, The Skunk Lady and her Son, The Scranton Police Officer, and a handful of other clowns. See ya next week folks.