Does your wife speak in the same monotone, slow and painfully deliberate, almost condescending, stop and start style, around the house or just at council meetings?

Is it "Hi honey, I'm home! What's for dinner? How was your day?"

Or is it "H-i h-o-n-e-y, I'-m h-o-m-e...W-h-a-t-'s f-o-r d-i-n-n-e-r... H-o-w w-a-s y-o-u-r d-a-y..."

If it was the second thing I refer you to the movie "The Shawshank Redemption." It took almost 20 years, but that dude dug his way out of prison with something not much larger than a tablespoon. Must be something like that lying around the house. Start digging. God speed.